So I'm back to good ol' sunny Southern California. Ahh good ol' San Di-FREAKIN'-ego. All I have to say is that I don't want to be here.

I've been back since Wednesday and I've been depressed ever since. Usually I'll get over that funk quickly. You know, I leave, cry, but then get back to business. I have yet to get back to business. I'm back to work yes, but I'm not here mentally. My mind is floating somewhere else, while my body just slouches over in front of my computer screen.

More than anything... I really miss my family. I didn't get to spend that much time with them whlie I was back home. I actually didn't realize it until it was brought to my attention the LAST DAY I was there. I was so busy entertaining Raf that I didn't have time to realize that. This vacation was supposed to be about me spending time with my family... and I didn't even get to do that. I don't usually live my life with regrets, but that's something that I do regret.

Hopefully I'll be able to make up for it come September... when I'll be heading over there again. I have Raffy's cousin's wedding and my sister's Chocolate launch party. I haven't put in my request yet since I just got back from missing 7 days of work. But I shouldn't have a problem getting the time off. I may not get paid, but I really could give a shit. Sometimes it's not about the money. Also, my parents will be in LA at the end of August for a wedding and I'll see them in San Diego at the beginning of September. So I'm really looking forward to that.

I just really miss my family, that's all. I don't wanna live in Hawai'i again, but I wish I was physically closer to my family. Ah crap.

Okay... back to work :=oP And pictures to come later. Hell, maybe I'll finally update my FLICKR!

Now that it's the summer I seem to have no shows to watch on TV. And I have to admit that I'm having some major "24" and "American Idol" withdrawls.

But oh, I finally have some shows to look forward to! Oh Lord, and can you believe... BOTH are on *gasp* MTV?! Actually I watched both shows, "Run's House" and "Making the Band 3", all last season. I didn't know they were back on. Heh, as you probably guess I don't watch MTV anymore. I feel too old and out of touch with the kids to be watching it. Plus, I tune into VH1 Soul and MTV Hits (on digital cable) for 24/7 MUSIC.

Run's House - This show is HILARIOUS! Reverend Run is just so funny. And when they throw in his brother and Hip Hop Godfather, Russell Simmons... it's classic. Their kids are a lil' crazy. The youngest, Russell II, definitely has some issues. Let's just say all the connectors don't seem to be connecting upstairs. But it's just such an entertaining show to watch. And you can't beat Reverend Run's ending words in the bubble bath. Oh, and Katomatay, hahaha!

Making the Band 3 - Let's hope THIS "band" sticks. Their chemistry is so great, so I'm hoping it does. I wasn't to keen on the group that was created before this bunch. These girls are such hotties and they can siiiiiing and dance! As much I don't like Diddy, I like this group and I like watching the progress and the hardwork it takes to get to the top.

1) Crazy by Gnarls Barkley - Dude. This song is the shit! I've been playing it over and over again. It's addicting... "crack" addicting. Not that I've had crack before. But still, you get what I'm saying. The beats and Cee-lo's voice... awesome combo. I downloaded most of the album and so far I like what I hear. I think I'm actually gonna go out and pick up the album today. Mmm hmm.

2) Dallas Mavericks - Since my Lakers are not in the Finals, I have to cheer on somebody. And the Mavericks are it. I think they're going to definitely go all the way. Then again, I thought they were going to sweep this series, but now they're leading 2-1. I would go for Miami, for Wade and Zo... but they have Shaq. I hate Shaq.

3) MAC Cosmetics - Oi, oi, oi. I'm getting that make-up obsession bug again. Well, good news is that I got MAC Gift Cards for my birthday so I can get myself a few treats :=o) I've already made of a list of things I want to pick up. Their newest collections have been so great and so colorful! It's a good thing I'm only really obsessed with eyeshadows/eye makeup. 'Cause if I was a big lipstick fan... I'd be broke. But at least I'd have purty lips :=oP

4) Chloι Bags - Okay, probably my MOST FAVORITEST thing right now! God, have you SEEN their bags?! I saw a few of their bags when I was in Vegas last year. There wasn't a lot, but from what I saw, I was impressed by the craftsmanship and the leather. But then I forgot about them. Until... I went to the website. Oh man. Soooooooooooo nice!!! The Paddington Bags are to DIE for. That cool signature Paddington lock? Sweet! They're not cheap though. However, I would save up for one. Eh, but not anytime soon :=oP You can find Chloι Bags at their boutiques, Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus.

I'm really digging putting a lot more visuals on this website o' mine. All text gets boring, right? RIGHT! And the "favorite things" thing will become a regular. I'm still thinking of other things I could put on this site. For sure some movie and music reviews, yes? I dunno. But eh, whatever gets me to use this site is always a good thing.

Okay, now back to work :=oP

Ahhhh... I needed to clean up the mane. I don't think I've posted photos of myself this year. Crap, I don't even remember the last time. Eh, like it matters? Of course not. But since the year started, I've cut my hair 3 times (the above photos being the 3rd). All 3 were different. I think this is my FAVORITE! Also, I dyed my hair back to my natural black/dark brown, at the beginning of the year. And I haven't dyed it since. I'm quite proud, actually, hehehe. I've been coloring my hair since I was in the 9th grade. It was about time that I put the bottle down.

And... that's all I got. HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND! GET SOME SUN :=oD

I've been feeling really drained these past few months. About 80% of it is work/career related. The remaining percentages would be, 15% my longing to leave San Diego/California and the other 5% being my surroundings (not San Diego related, but people related). I'm just tired mentally and emotionally. I think it's starting to exhaust me physically too.

I'm the type of person that will usually just go with the flow. Just let life happen. But lately, I just feel... different. I don't feel like the same person I was a year ago. I feel like everyone and everything around me is continuing to move along like clockwork. Whereas I feel I'm the one that's changing.

So I think it's perfect timing that I'm actually flying home to Hawai'i in 3 weeks (June 24-July 5). Raffy's supposed to be off the ship and onto shore duty in a couple weeks, BUT they decided to extend his ship time until August. And during that time, he, along with the ship, will be going to Hawai'i. So enter me. Actually, Raffy's the one that wanted me to fly out. At first I was hesitant, but I realized it would be GOOD for me. Good to see my family and friends. And just good for me to decompress. Maybe I'll get inspired again. Maybe I'll take control of my life and my future.

Yet again my mind is bombarded by so many thoughts. Thoughts of what I want to do with my life. I have all these ideas and I just don't know where to start. I have other things going on with other people, but that's on the back burner for now. All I know is that where I'm at right now... it's not where I want to be in 5 years. If I am, someone please shoot me.

I've been working in the "real world" for almost 11 months now. I've learned so much. But not so much about art/design... more so about the business world. More specifically the private corporation world. There's so much bullshit behind the scenes, that it's not even funny. I can't do anything about it (other than quit), but I take what I witness as a learning experience of what to expect when you're supposedly doing what you love, but for someone else. I guess it's different if, say, I were working for a design firm or ad agency. Things are different when you work for a company where designers are the bottom of the barrel.

Have I turned bitter? Maybe just a little, but not a lot. Like I said, I'm taking this all as a life lesson. Because when I DO leave, I'll know exactly what I want and DON'T want. Let's hope that going back to Hawai'i will help me to get grounded again. Maybe going back home, even for just a short time, will give me some perspective.

P.S. I'm such a DUMBHEAD!!! My comments were not working, har har har :=oP They are now fixed :=o)

The American Idol Finale really really REALLY SUCKED! Hands down the shittiest finale EVER!!! This is probably the best season, talent wise, but man... just sucked. Katharine and Taylor sang their "debut" songs, and the songs weren't the greatest. Taylor did awesome, but his song was just "eh". Katharine really sucked. It's like you know those songs really weren't written specifically for them. At least in Katharine's case. Or maybe SHE just McSucks, har har har.

But anyways, hands down... Taylor won. And honestly, I'm glad he's going to win. Other than Elliott, Taylor was the other contestant I really liked. Lots of soul, that's for sure :=o) And such a NICE guy. If he wins, his CD will do well. If Katharine wins (which I really really doubt), it won't do well. I'm not trying to be a hater. But there were others that were waaaaaaaay better than her that were eliminated.

Eh, who cares anymore? Tomorrow the new Idol is crowned. Oooooh, and Elliott performs tomorrow, I'm sure, hehehehe :=oD

Side note: Thanks to everybody for you birthday wishes. I'm 26 now. God, I'll soon be in my LATE 20's. It just boggles the mind how time is just flying!